“I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.”

If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. Romans 12:18

Have you ever tried to argue with yourself? Feels pretty stupid, right? No matter how loud you get, how adamant you are at getting your point over, or how red your ears get. If you’re not getting feedback, the argument kind of losses its oomph. There’s something innate in us that causes us to want to defend, with fervor, our point of view.

Nevertheless, there are times when more can be said by our silence. After stating your views and noticing the other party is upset, it may be better to drop the matter. Talking about an attention getter! Your decision not to argue will really get noticed. The other party is forced to think about what you have already said, instead of keeping up with what you’re yelling.

I’ve discovered that if I simply speak my piece calmly, then let go, I won’t have to worry about losing control and saying or doing something I may regret later. If the other party continues to rant and rave, calmly say, “Let’s talk about this some other time.”, smile, then leave.

Not responding when someone challenges you is not easy. It’s a power that God can and wants to give you. I’m not talking so much about self-control; I’m speaking of God-control. Giving god control of your temper takes prayer for patience, understanding, forbearance, discernment and forgiveness. All of which God will freely give if asked. Realize, too, that you may not always be right. Refusing to argue opens your spirit to hear and process the other person’s point of view. They may have some valid points; a slant that hadn’t occurred to you.

Some matters need to be discussed. Problems must be solved. Confusion has to be cleared. Sometimes, for these things to be taken care of, there will be some, how shall I say, some stirring of the waters. We’ll never go through life without becoming angry at some point. We must, however, choose our battles carefully. Decide what things warrant the extra energy and frustration arguing brings. If it’s not going to matter in the long run, then it’s not worth the fight. Ask God’s help with your temper. Ask Him to help you to be patient with others who have not learned, as you have, that they can turn down an invitation to argue. God will be pleased….and your blood pressure as well!

Love ya! Edith